Do we ever get done with underachieving? For most of us, my perception is no, we don’t. We read about the habits of “over-achievers, and we study how they think and do things. We aspire. We dream. We hope.
Yep, we’ve even heard that before as well, haven’t we? People who get out and achieve goals “do.” They get into action. We study them getting into action. We contemplate getting into action. When we finally motivate and get moving, we often sell ourselves short. We hold back. We don’t reach, at least not as far as we could.
What is up with that? What stays our hand at stepping into our destiny, our best future, our best selves? Self esteem. Confidence. Faith and trust in ourselves. All of this requires we love ourselves. We’ve heard this before as well, right?
When it all comes down to one principle, I see love as the culprit. We don’t love ourselves enough.
We’re taught to love others by our families, churches, institutions. Heck, our retail outlets and other businesses preach the “customer is always right” (which they aren’t) and we are forced to set ourselves aside. We constantly sacrifice ourselves for others, which is not a bad thing, but when it damages your self esteem and confidence, I see problems.
I realize there are millions of ways to have your confidence and self esteem damaged. Repair is not the simplest of things either. Yet, I see people quite damaged still step into their dreams. They’re willing to muster up the courage to “do.” Does this mean they love themselves? I think so. I believe they at least love what they’re doing which allows them to overcome fears and other internal issues.
I listen nearly every day to writers who will not step into their dream. Heck, I’m one of them all too often! What is up with that?
I’m learning though. I’m learning that confidence owns a root tied directly to loving yourself. I could step out with the ultimate book, where I write it real and I write it according to my truth and the book might not be popular. Does this matter? Not if I’ve written so close to my heart I know I gave it all I had.
It’s that ability to follow your passion without watering it down to social norms which I’ve observed to be the way to go. The more I experience resistance to my personal truths and I realize there are others uncomfortable with my perspectives, the more I see the importance of not compromising on personal truths when writing books simply to placate. This is one of the reasons the absurd “politically correct” movement leaves such a disgusting taste in our mouths. The truth gets lost in the gloss-over.
Do we ever graduate from underachieving, from not meeting our potential? We’ll never know until we give ourselves permission to go after our dreams with all thrusters firing, will we?