Monthly Archives: July 2012

Fear Junkie – The Morning Wride

Waterfront Park in the Intercoastal waterway in Palm Coast, Florida.

Our wride today felt great. After Ivy being gone for a week at summer camp, I found I missed her terribly. Something about our father-daughter daily bike wride fills a need within me. I took the pics for this post on the wride, yet most of my attention today was on a particular topic – fear.

Spoiler Alert! If you’re a member of the local Toastmasters Club, reading any further will give away most, if not all, of my speech on Wednesday night. Ok, so I’ll have a couple surprises I can’t put here on my blog, but I will be reciting one of my poems…

Fear. For some of us, fear is a motivating factor in our lives. Fear keeps us from apathy and complacency. For years, overcoming fear kept me moving forward. Fear often coursed through challenges set in front of me.

The question arises, at least in my mind, of what amount of fear becomes too much? How long can a person use fear as motivation before they become overwhelmed? How much joy and anticipation gets stolen by the intensity of fear?

These days, I find fear more my enemy than motivator. I feel apathy nipping at my heels and complacency a safe place to hide. Shouldn’t fifty-three years be enough time spent riding the fear wave?

Let’s get down to specifics here, because there are many types of fears, I’m writing about the internal, self-limiting fears. Fear owns a legitimate place in our lives. Finding yourself two feet away from a hungry, fourteen foot alligator SHOULD instill a bit of fear into you.

One of my most recent fears came last week when I agreed to teach and choreograph a ballroom dance routine for a charity event August 3rd in Flagler Beach. I had mentioned in a conversation that I wanted to get back to dancing. I did not realize the person I spoke with was heading up a recruiting committee for this “Dancing With the Stars” Flagler Beach gig.

I took private ballroom dance lessons for three years. That was over five years ago. Heck, more like seven years ago. I have not ballroom danced for at least three years. I have five days to come up with a routine, teach someone enough Triple Swing for us to look good, and then get up in front of 500 people and dance.

I’m telling you, this is way outside my comfort zone. Yet, in the past five years, I’ve been very involved with Toastmasters and my fear of getting in front of an audience has diminished. I do love to dance. I do know enough to at least have us looking competent.

Back to the fear and the meat of this post. At this stage of my life, I no longer have the inclination or time for all this internal fear. The questions of whether I can pull this off. The uncertainty of whether I will freeze like I did at a piano recital fifteen years ago (what a fear moment realized!).

I desire to anticipate the competition. I desire to enjoy the process of getting this routine down. I desire to look forward to the event instead of listing it up there among all the other fear driven tasks I have hanging over my head.

I wonder at how my life became this fear monster. I take on a new project and the next thing I know, I’m fearing whether I will come through or not. Even though I’ve never NOT come through on a project, fear still drives me. Somewhere along the way, I allowed joy and anticipation to be replaced by fear of not performing at someone else’s level of satisfaction.

I’m sure this is something embedded within me over decades of practice. At this stage in my life I want fear gone. I want to experience positivity. This motivation from a negative position has worn me out. I find I have little tolerance for naysayers and nit pickers and people with a general, overall critical outlook on life.

I realize you cannot throw the baby out with the bathwater. There are legitimate circumstances for fear, and critique, and detail oriented action. I want more joy in my life.

I also do not totally ascribe to constantly challenging your fears in order to overcome them. I’ve been doing this most my life and I’ve fallen into quick ‘fear’ patterns. I desire to eliminate fear before it grows and consumes me. I can see this endeavor may take time and a ton of effort.

Reciting my poem Wednesday night will be one step out of this fear-driven life of mine. I love this poem. I wrote it sitting under a tree in Raleigh, North Carolina in April of 1982 at three in the morning with a nasty storm on the way. I fear reciting my poetry. I have not been able to attempt an open mic event. The fear engulfs me.

My task these next two days, is to look forward to my speech with positive anticipation. I desire to revel in the moment, to present myself, my poetry, and my views on fear, and to do all this without fear eating at me. The same goes for the dance routine. The same goes for a presentation I must give on Friday.

The same goes for marketing and promoting my book Go Write and You Won’t Go Wrong! Write Your Book in 30 Days. The same goes for marketing the webinar I’ve set up. The same goes for just about everything I want in life.

Photo taken from the I95 bridge in Palm Coast. My house is about three blocks behind the blue water tower…

I’ve read and heard a lot about how everything you want is just outside your comfort zone. I’ve heard and understand that one of the keys to a progressively successful life is to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I heard a quote this past weekend that said, “The brave may well die, but the cautious never truly live.” That resonates with me.

I’ve come up with a little ‘internal jingle’ I’m going to repeat to myself as I work through overcoming fear and introducing anticipation and joy back into my life. It goes like this: “I can or I can’t, I will or I won’t, but I’ll have fun and get it done.” The trick will be to believe…

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Storms – The Morning Wride

Hello Wriders!

The weather did not do us any favors today. The crazy thing was, we had sunshine and one cloud kept following us and dumping on us at its discretion. While the rain felt cool and refreshing, I could have done without the water infused fun. Neither Ivy nor myself prepared for rain as the day was bright and sunny when we left the house. Oh well…

This morning I tuned back in to music. My reward came instant as well as somewhat prophetic. The song “Storms” by Stevie Nicks (Fleetwood Mac “Tusk” album) hopped into my ears like a comfortable old friend’s hug. For over two decades this song resonates within me as a description of the end of my previous marriage. I am not led to live an internally quiet, level life. My passions burn far too bright to allow circumstance to tamp them down too much.

I’ve come to realize I enjoy the passions that roil within. I do not mean to say for a moment that passion suffered my reproach over the years. At times I wished I could live numb as many people appear to live. I cannot. Not for any sustained amount of time.

I now embrace my emotional ups and downs. I understand the life still remaining in my soul. I possess no desire to relinquish one ounce, one molecule, one atom, one measurement of passion. Too many times in my life, my dreams and ambitions took backseat to level-headed, calculated, analytical thought. I lived as a man of emotion trapped in a logical world.

Slowly this past year, the fact we do not live in a logical world made itself known to me. Yes, I understand logic pops up all around us. There exists an incredible symmetry in this world. Life follows semi-logical paths and many great inventions may be said to be “logical”.

As long as we live in an emotional world, though, passions and chaotic circumstances will indeed have play in our lives. I welcome this aspect of life. Before the word “passion” suffers the indignity of extremist interpretation, allow me to state that passion can swell on a breeze, a blade of grass, and as a good friend just reminded me, a flower blossom at one’s foot.

Passion does not always require the definition of volatility. Passion may also be quiet, slow-burning, and free. Free to exhilarate at things as simple as sails, seagulls, and sandwiches as in the next tune on my wride – Sails.

On my wrides lately, I’ve opted for no music, and often nothing but the wind in my ears and the rhythms of life around me. A number of times, I listened this past week to Eckhart Tolle expound on The Power of Now. I found both listening to life and listening to Tolle rewarding. Today, I rediscovered the beauty of familiar music that played with my emotions and enhanced my wride.

A third song on the wride struck me just write and sealed the deal that I would write this blog. (You do know I misspell right on purpose I hope…). At this time, my iPhone contains an inordinate amount of Elton John’s music. This comes from me owning most of his entire library of music. I set my phone to “shuffle” play and Elton often slips into my ears. Today was no exception. “Madman Across the Water” seeped into the playlist and I knew this post would have music intertwined.

I love when my spirit soars, especially while wriding my bike, listening to music, and enjoying the beauty of the world around me. We get told each day we should buy this and do that and pay bills and vote and a billion other commands on how we should live.

I feel the truth of how we should live gets buried in the clutter of modern-day life. For me, I will continue to wride my bike, listen to music or the incredible world around me, revel in the highs and lows of emotion, and search for peace in a passion-filled world. Crazy in a way if you think about it. Maybe one day I’ll be the madman across the water. If I am, I certainly hope I retain the good sense to enjoy my madness…

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Discovering Joy – The Morning Wride

My morning wride today took me some places I did not expect to go. This is not an uncommon occurrence. In fact, these days, I find my morning wrides peppered with pleasant surprises. Today, I struggled a bit on the basketball court. For those who have not been reading, I stop along my route and shoot hoops for about 45 minutes, then continue on with my wride.

I noted my determination not to give up on the court. I suppose you could say I play some mind games with myself on the basketball court. Hey, I’m by myself (my daughter disdains the activity), so I create some phantom creativity to push me forward. I warm up for about ten minutes, then I run four, full court layups, ending with an around-the-back-through-the-legs layup. I must make at least two of the four or keep running.

Then I play a game of “Around the World” with myself. There are 13 spot up shots I must make within two shots or I must start over. If I make five shots in a row, I earn myself a third shot if necessary. This is where I struggled today, and the shot that hurt me was not the three pointer.

More important than the physical shooting of the shots was my determination to push myself and keep myself disciplined to the game. I could easily cheat. No one knows I’m even playing a game. I could excuse myself out of a missed shot and give myself another chance, but the integrity of disciplining myself to move forward and improve kept me true to my rules.

In fact, I made up a new rule that if I “lost” a game and had to start over, I must first run two full court layups as mentioned before. Then I decided to offer myself an opportunity out of the full court layups if I “swish” a three pointer. Getting a bit complicated now, but totally enjoyable. I love basketball.

Once I finally got past my shooting woes today, I went to the free throw line. Generally, I am an 80% free throw shooter. In fact, I will not leave the court until I shoot eight out of ten free throws. I struggled with this a bit today as well. Then, I got my focus back and promptly made eight in a row, missed one, then hit the last.

Then, of course, you never leave the court without your last shot being a perfect swish. I had a nice workout. The Florida heat, even at 8am had me drenched. Getting back on my bike and wriding with Ivy is always pleasant.

As I wrode, I looked at how I handle myself on the ball court and I recognize I want to be more in line with that determination in my writing and publishing life. Heck, in all my life. While I do “hang in there” and “persevere” in my life, I desire the willingness and the love of moving forward and pushing myself to move into the rest of my life.

While I do employ this, I do not believe I embrace the ‘joy’ of the pursuit like I do on the court. There is a joy available to us in anything we pursue. Slipping in the nanoseconds of recognitions that joy is available should be more prevalent. It does not take more than nanoseconds to glean joy from your activity. The endeavor does require that you keep yourself open to joy.

Personal experience – I noted today I often do not keep myself open to joy. Odd, isn’t it? Something as valuable and rewarding and pleasant and soothing as joy, and we do not stay vigilant to the next opportunity to experience it. Humans, we are a strange lot.

One last thing about my morning basketball escapades. Getting back on my bike and feeling the cool breeze felt nice. The next forty-five minutes of wriding allowed me to enjoy the efforts on the court even more. I tend to be a bit of a workaholic. As I complete tasks, I think I will take time to enjoy the breezes life has to offer each day.

I’m not talking idleness or laziness, just allowing myself to travel the paths I feel offer those cool breezes after some strenuous, fulfilling work. Too often I deny myself these pleasures. We shall see, eh? I’m staying open to joy and I’m looking forward to the cooldown breezes of forward motion created by efforts connected to what I wish to accomplish in life.

I hope you have goals and aspirations to help propel you forward. I certainly hope that if you do, you keep yourself open to the joys of your pursuit. When you allow the joys to pass you by, I feel you lose your passion for the endeavor. Anything worth doing well is worth doing with joy, right?

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My Childhood Genius – The Morning Wride

This morning’s wride took me to some cool places within. I put together some life observations that resonate, at least to me. Heck, I’m writing this, so the words and concepts better resonate, write? (hey, you do know I misspelled that on purpose, correct?…)

I wrode unplugged today. The first couple weeks of wriding, I listened to my playlist on my iPhone. Cool enough. This past week, I listened a few days to Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. Way cool stuff there.

This morning, however, I allowed my earbuds to flop around on my chest outside my shirt. I wrode with the cicadas, the birds, the street sounds, my breathing, the soft, metallic grind of our chains, the crunch of tires over pine needles, the scurrying of squirrels and bunny rabbits as we swished by them.

I embraced more of the blue skies above, more of the trees individually and collectively. I enjoyed my breathing patterns, the rhythms of our bikes, the connection to my world. I noted vines climbing everlong into trees and millions upon millions of blades of grass – and a blade of grass. My eyes took in more leaves – and a leaf.

For the first time in these three weeks, I experienced the surreal connection, albeit tenuously and a quite watered down, bike wrides from years past. I have a wride, one from Dunbar Elementary School back in the 60′s, where I sang a tune titled Swing High, Swing Low.

On this wride over forty years ago, I swung my oversized, bulky bike left and write to the rhythm and the words – Swing high, swing low. Oh what a lot of the world you see. Over the top of a tree! That wride home from school, afternoon shadows dancing from the leaves on a breeze, implanted a moment in time I must never relinquish.

Connection to places and times often involves music. As I wrote in an earlier post, specific memories of a tune playing at a particular time imbedded that place in my memory, never to be forgotten. Even though I’ve heard these songs in hundreds of different locations, one particular place in time often gets represented. For instance, the first sock hop of my seventh grade school year, probably September 1971, You Are Everything by the Stylistics and a slow dance with Dawna Martin.

Back to the wride. This morning I felt the call of past wrides, past experiences, past joys of wind in my face, songs on my heart, and hope in my world. The call felt ethereal, like ghosts of my past calling me back to better times, yet at the same time, not in a negative, escapist manner, but in a “now” manner.

Maybe the past never goes away. Maybe we simply dull ourselves to the experiences we once knew. Maybe the joy and freedom and childlike focus we once defined still lives within us. We collect so much information and experience so much sensory input, I’m coming to believe we miss the true importance of our lives. One of the most cruel aspects of ‘growing up’ appears to be our distance from the child within.

I know, many have written and continue to write on this subject. I’m no scientist, no Phd philosopher, but I sense and believe we lose the very best aspect of ourselves when we give up our youth. I don’t mean the immature, inane side of youth, but the ‘youth’ side of us that takes the time, even in a moment, to appreciate something of profound beauty, even if it be simply a song, a bike wride, a breeze, and a joy.

For my heart and soul, I would take the peace and exhilaration of those moments over the pleasures of adulthood any day, any time. Innocence, the appreciation of a moment without concern over what needs to be done at home, carefree (now there’s a great word/concept), and pure, unattached joy.

Yes, ghosts of bike wrides past whispered in my heart today. The greatest aspect of their call was not for me to come “back” to join them, but to simply join them now. They never really went away. I simply tucked them into storage because I no longer possessed the time to play with them. What a sad, sad oversight on my part. We give up the best of ourselves when we give up our joy. The more childish, often the more precious.

I’m finding the ability to reconnect with these experiences takes a willing, relaxed heart. Much like the writing muses, this cannot become a ‘forced’ pursuit. You must be willing to be open to inviting the joys of your childhood back into your life. I don’t recommend trying to live in the past either. The past had trouble enough of its own. But the past also contained joy, and peace, and beauty and many other incredible attributes. I recommend inviting them into your ‘present’.

Walk away from your “plugged in” connectedness for a while today. Give yourself a few hours to visit with the ‘ghosts’ of your childhood. You may find, as I have, they are not actually ghosts but simply friends you let slip out of your life. Joy and peace and wonder still live within you. Setting them free may only be a bike wride away.

This was my childhood genius. Shhh…. (he still lives within me!)

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Write a Book in Thirty Days – The Morning Wride

Hello Wriders!

Day 15 in my bicycle wriding went well. A number of items came to me on the wride and a plethora of great music met my ears. I pull out one of the greatest voices of all time, Karen Carpenter, for my song of the morning. My ears delighted to the pleasure of one of her best, more obscure tunes, Ordinary Fool.

The key topic for today and many days to come deals with an upcoming live webinar produced by myself titled, “Go Write and You Won’t Go Wrong! Write Your Book in Thirty Days.” I ran through a trial webinar and I also scheduled myself to teach a live class through the Flagler County Adult Education program.

I put a load of thought and preparation into the upcoming webinar. As long as participants to what I say, they will walk away with a first draft manuscript of approximately 30,000 words in thirty days. This project required more thought and effort than I first imagined.

Part of the issue for me stemmed from the fact I have written nine books in three years, the last manuscript taking only eight days to complete the draft. While churning out a book has become relatively simple to me, I found most people struggle like I once did.

In my first presentation of the webinar, I actually lay out everything anyone needs to complete a book in thirty days. What I found was that few people will actually follow my step-by-step instructions without encouragement and motivation. During my trial webinar, certain issues came to light that reflected writing issues I struggled with for years myself.

Therefore, I instituted a number of ‘coaching’ techniques and motivational techniques to help potential authors complete their manuscripts. I found, without constant, daily encouragement, people who wish to write a book fall into old patterns of complacency and idleness. I’ve heard all the excuses and given many myself. I worked hard to put together encouragements that address most of the issues of writing – especially for newer writers.

Let me first identify some parameters for my new webinar. I recommend the book the writers undertake be a non fiction book. Writers can complete their fiction book using the same techniques, but fiction books tend to run more in the 50,000 words and up category. My view for a novel would be to stretch the writing out over sixty days. A novel can be completed in thirty days. For my webinar purposes, though, the fiction writer will need to write twice as much as the non fiction writer.

I have competed in the Nanowrimo contest each of the past five years. I won three out of five. Winning Nanowrimo is as simple as writing 50,000 words in thirty days during the month of November. The two months I did not complete the challenge, I wrote 32,000 and 37,000 words. This is precisely why I say a first draft can well be completed in thirty days. I’ve accomplished the feat three times myself.

With respect to the webinar, I’m providing two daily emails to each participant encouraging them to write. I’m also including a short recorded phone call each day to touch participants in another form of media. The webinar also includes a privately shared Google Spreadsheet where each participant is required to post their daily word count.

I’m also including a private Facebook Group account where participants can interact with each other and keep their motivation high. I’ve found whenever writers take on an endeavor, the only true support they receive comes from other writers. The Facebook Group account allows participants a forum that is safe and encouraging.

In addition to all the above, I’ve hired professional accountability coach Janice Karm to call each participant weekly. This fifteen minute accountability call will help us determine where the writer stands with regard to the plan and also helps motivate the writer. Encouragement, motivation, and accountability all wrapped up in one webinar should help most writers reach their thirty day goal.

Also included in the webinar is my books, “Go Write and You Won’t Go Wrong!” and “Rock Your Business! Your Book as Your Business Card.” These books walk writers through the process of writing their book. The first book also contains an appendix that delivers daily encouragements to the writers. These encouragements get referenced in the daily emails I send out to the participants.

Not to be lost in all this encouragement, motivation, and accountability, the webinar is presented live over four weeks. Beginning Monday, August 20th, 2012, I will present the webinar myself. The first webinar, as stated earlier, will deliver everything the writer needs to know and accomplish to get their book written in thirty days. The next three live webinars, I will run through some writing encouragements and provide lengthy Q&A sessions to help keep participants on track.

I’m currently working on the edits for my book, “Go Write and You Won’t Go Wrong!” I have a lot of work ahead of me as far as marketing the webinar. Heck, for that matter, I have a lot of work ahead of me getting the rewrites and edits done on the book. Timelines will all begin converging soon, so I foresee some hectic times on the near horizon.

I also got word today that the proof for my first novel, co-written with my fellow Rogues Gallery Writers Jeff, Bridget, and Nancy, will arrive in forty-eight hours. This is exciting. The proof will be the first hardcover edition ClearView Press Inc (my publishing company) has produced since Loves Lost and Found in 2009.

I also have three other book projects in progress with other authors. Needless to say, my blog will be somewhat ‘book-driven’ for the next six weeks. I promise I’ll still interject meditations from my morning wride. That wride may be the calming, sanity-saving act I perform each day…

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